Hi, Welcome aboard. I’m your tour guide.
I’m a blood cell and I was born in the marrow of Willy's bones. I can live to be about 3 months old.
I will take you along with me and show you all around the organs and glands of Willy.
We start our tour in my bed I call Spleen. I wake up and we immediately go to Lung where I catch my first breath of air. That feels great. Unless Willy has been smoking.
Depending on what Willy smoked, I either tickle his brain and make him giggle or I give it a kick.
When I am in a tickling mood, I feel like everything is just fine and I don’t really need to do anything and can stay in bed.
When I am in a mood to kick, I feel like I can do everything all at the same time and will try to do it faster than I thought possible. But most the time all I get is my breath of fresh air I have to deliver to one of the 100 trillion rooms Willy has. After filling the refrigerator and cleaning the room, I return to Lung to dispose the bundle of garbage from the room.
It is not really a hard work as I just have to float down a flowing red river called Blood with all of my 25 trillion red blood cell brothers. On the average the entire trip there and back lasts less than a minute. We work 3 months and get to visit almost 10 million rooms in our career. For luck we get to go to a different room each time so the trips are never boring.
On our tour today, we will take the longest trip there is, down to the tip of Willy’s right big toe. So put on your seat belts and off we go.
Our first stop is one of my favorite places, Willy’s Stomach. We can all get a bite to eat. MMMM. Yummy. Do you notice how our river suddenly turned thick and oily? That is because Willy pigged out at McDonald’s last night.
We are now swimming in all the nutrients from the big Mac and French fries. For luck they were made soft by the saliva that was dripping out of his mouth as he entered McDonald. Unfortunately he did not chew his food long enough and gulped it down so it is all in clumps.
We better go to Gallbladder to warn them to stock up on some soap called Bile to wash up all this fat.
Then we will go to Liver and wake him up so that he can sort and store everything that comes in by size, shape and color, so that they can be used to make tools and repairs. The building and maintenance crews can fix most of the things that need fixing, as long as they have sufficient tools and materials stored on stock. So whenever I need fixing, like when I need a bit of iron for instance, all I need to do is go to Liver and hope he has some of it from the food that he ate. Whenever I need to be cleaned or my gallbladder needs more bile, or the other organs need more energy, I depend on Liver to help out.
I feel a bit dirty. I would like to get cleaned up before the next stop of our tour, so I am going to Kidney to have a shower and get cleaned up. Then I am told I can return to Spleen and have a short nap.
After the rest we will visit the intestines where all the things that can not be used from the food Willy ate is drained of water we call Pee. Pee is then pumped to Bladder and waits for Willy to pee.
What remains is called “poo”, a floating brown sausage. Poo is pushed out Willy’s back door his anus which we affectionately call his "asshole". When your poo smells bad, it is then called “shit”. It is full of bad bacteria so wash your hands after you shit!
- Mr. Adrenalin is the surveillance manager in charge of waking up the right glands at the first sight of danger.
- Mr. Insulin the sugar manager is often overworked because Willy likes to eat lots of sugar. He lives in Pancreas with all the other hormones and enzymes that are in charge of digesting Willie’s food.
- Mr. Testies, Willy’s sex manager, lives with the Testicle brothers, or as Willy affectionately calls them, his 2 balls. He is in charge of making sure that Willy will grow hair all over his face one day so that he can show his manhood before he goes bald. Mr. Testies also makes sure that Willy growls instead of screeches. And that he makes sperm instead of eggs. And that he grows a bit bigger than he would otherwise grow so that he could carry things for the smaller and more attractive bodies that have Miss Estrogen as their sex manager.
Once Willy carries enough weight far enough for his lady, then he can have sex with her. Then we are all called to crowd into Willie’s penis which we jokingly call his “Little Willy“ to come and support him. The pressure can be excitingly explosive and we always feel happy and relieved when it’s all over and we can leave.
When we finally arrive at Room Number 100 trillion with our bundle of fresh air, we stay long enough to see the river we swim in suddenly clear up of all that junk as it fills the refrigerator. Then the room is flushed clean. We exchange out bundle of fresh air for a bundle of stale air and exchange the gossip and messages the heart gave us to deliver. We say goodbye and go back to Lung to dispose the stale air.
We are tired when we arrive at Heart who always feels our feelings. She sees our heavy load and pumps and pushes us onward to Lung so that he can give it on to the plants that are all waiting for it.
THE END
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